My head is full of random thoughts, wishes, To-Do's, and need-to's. I am paralyzed by all of the things that fill my head and have so many things to do that I can't start any of them. I am watching my 22 month old son destroy the living room and I don't even get up to stop him or say anything. I could lay in bed and ignore everything around me all day but I force myself to get up and give a damn a little. I know it is depression; I take medication for it. I also having worsening panic attacks that I also take medication for.
To the outside world I look pretty put together, well dressed, hair and make-up done. At home and to my husband and kids I am unraveling daily. My husband has no reason not to leave me; I am a nut case most of the time. I pull it together long enough to drop my son off at school, get some groceries, and run a few other errands. I hardly find joy in anything I do and my husband criticizes my faults all of the time. That's the perfect way to get someone our of a funk! FAIL!
Anyway, I don't know what direction this blog will take. I used to be a runner, maybe the blog will motivate me to do that again. I'm trying to be an entrepreneur in gourmet dog treats as well as on EBay. Maybe it will go that way. Anyway, here I am and if nothing else it will be a journal for myself and trying to heal the wounds and broken pieces of myself.
